Longhi's

Best for: Americanized Italian food, View
Location: Ala Moana

I've tried to like this place. I really have. There must be something wrong with me because two of my best friends, whose tastes I'd normally trust in a heartbeat, love Longhi's. After dining here a few times, I'm sorry to say that I still don't see its appeal.

artichoke

Located on the third floor of Ala Moana, on the same level as Morton's and Mariposa, Longhi's faces Ala Moana Beach Park and the Pacific Ocean. Thus, theoretically, the view should be breathtaking. However, there are hedges in the way (similar to the hedges obstructing my view at Orchid's), and I am always way too hot to enjoy the view. Longhi's needs to take a note from Mariposa because Mariposa knows how to keep its open-air restaurant cool despite the inevitable Hawaiian sunshine. At Longhi's I can feel like my butt sticking to the black faux leather seat cushion. How unappetizing. The restaurant itself is beautiful, with black-and-white checkered floors, huge spaces between each table, and white walls reminiscent of old Hawaii. The designers of Longhi's obviously had a vision. Too bad I can't say the same for the food.

Longhi's is an "Italian" chain from Maui, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that the food is completely unauthentic. The pasta is drowning in sauce, and the noodles are way too soft. Last time I was here for lunch, I remembered that I was disappointed with my pasta on a previous visit, so I made sure to only order seafood and vegetables: longhi longhi salad and clams. Neither dish was very good. The salad was a glorified Caesar salad, while the clams in olive oil were a sad, watered-down version of what my mom can make at home with her eyes closed.

remnants of my clams

I usually order dessert just to give them another chance to redeem themselves. It should be easy; I have a huge sweet tooth. However, both times I've had dessert here have been disappointing. I've ordered a grasshopper (mint chocolate cake) and a chocolate mousse. They tasted like frozen Safeway cakes - those huge slices you can pick up by the bread section. Also, the portions are gluttonous. I know we're in America, but a place as expensive as Longhi's should really work on quality over quantity. This isn't the goddamn Cheesecake Factory.

I did have my first kir royale here, and I'd have to say that it was the best thing I've ordered (although, that may be just because I was so excited to finally have a kir royale). All in all, I have always come with good company, so despite the mediocre food and bad ventilation, I end up leaving satisfied. However, for a worthwhile meal with an equally stunning view and much better food, go next door to Mariposa.